How my life has changed since October 6th

First I want to say ... wasn't I in this position a year ago?! (knee surgery and recoup.)

As most of you know I was in a little accident with myself and 'the good ole hard ground'. Now that I have had surgery and the long road back to hopefully a better self, I have learned a new perspective in life. Here are some of my thoughts:

Gravity Truly Exists - I am amazed on occasions how fast the mind can think thoughts and visualize even in the few seconds it took to fall, and in the midst of mass confusion of: "Why am I falling? ...Why are my arms flailing in the air ... Why am I hearing the hard hat hit the ground ... oh shoot! I hope Jared's glasses didn't get scratched! Good thing I didn't try to carry the heater too. Where is the sleeping bag?... Why am I falling? ... I don't want my head to hit the car bumper. ... Oh, my elbow and shoulder! ... Ouch my head! ...Wow this ground is hard! ... Did I just hit my head on a rock? ...' Is this the major change in the middle of next month that will change my life forever' - (fortune cookie from Sept.) ... I thought it would have something to do with the grandkids and the swine flu shot! ... The truck door just slammed shut ... does Barry know I'm lying here on the ground? Why did I fall???"

It is very surreal to feel blood running down my scalp (it's warm) and see a puddle of blood on the ground and know that it came from my head. I've seen movies where it shows a person lying on the ground with a puddle of blood behind their head - creepy! Very weird!

I am always amazed at the power of the priesthood and it's healing power. I'm very thankful for it!

Why is it that when I'm walking into a hospital for an injury, illness or to have my babies, do I always question whether I am really needing to be there? Are they going to tell me to go home? You're not hurt. You're not ready. Even when my ankle hurts, my eyes aren't dilating, my knee is hurting and swollen like a balloon, my elbow hurts, and my head is sore with a lump and a scab? ... Why do I feel I have to look nice before I go? And of course, I have to make sure my underwear is clean - thanks Mom!

Why do you have to be a contortionist to have X-rays? and why does it have to be sooo cold in those rooms? And that Icey Cold Slab Table! "Sure, I'll hold still as soon as I stop shivering!" But I am grateful for modern technology and grateful I don't have to lie in bed with my leg suspended in the air with ropes and a bucket of rocks at the end of a pulley for my knee to heal for months. Don't know how my Dad did it!?!

I now know what it is like to have an MRI & claustrophobia (if I can talk myself through this, I can talk myself through anything! and Without Meds. - thank you very much!). This was not anything like what I expected - a series of knocks and clanking and bangings. How do small children do this who have cancer or other major health issues? How do they holds so still for so long? If a small child can do this, so can I! I am so blessed! Did you know you have to wear earplugs? No metal allowed - duh! sometimes I Am Slow! One of the few times my ring has been off and glad Barry decided to let me have it back, I was feeling naked in there!

Whew! There really is something wrong! Their not going to send me home without aide. I had the thought that they were all thinking I was faking and just wanted drugs. (The tiny dilation of my eyes probably didn't help, I'm sure. I looked pretty weird to myself.) I really would have liked them to say "There's nothing wrong with you - go home and in three day's the swelling will be gone and you'll be back to normal." Instead they were saying, "Wow! This is a lot worse than we thought!" Ah Ha, they did think I was there for drugs!

Any way you look at it - your armpits are going to hurt if you have to use crutches! There were moments ... okay ... long minutes, that I just wanted to chuck them through a door or window and just get up and walk. !WOW! I just realized, maybe that was a test of my Faith to be healed! and I blew it! ( I really did for a second have that visualization. Maybe I could ... I wanted it bad enough!) But I am grateful to have the light weight ones Jared let me borrow. Thank-you Jared for your concern with my knee. It was nice to know you understood what it was all about and have your knowledge of what to watch out for and how it was going to be. Sorry if I didn't understand or care enough for your pain or suffering in the past. Personal experience truly is eye opening and 20/20.

Being stuck in the house alone, really sucks! Thanks to my sister, Brenda. who made it bearable and fun and interesting. She took me places with her when she had errands to run. We even got together with Jackie and went to visit my Aunt Lela & Uncle Glendon . She just turned 80 and I've wanted to see them for a l-o-n-g time. And then we had sister time ... always needed and wonderful! I have such wonderful sisters and a caring big brother!

One word of advice: Do Not Think, that while you are recuperating, that it is a good time to pressure cook dry beans in a canner ... you know ... one process a day would be easy and do-able ... MAN ! What pocessed me?! !!! Sorry Brenda!!! But we did learn a lot from it? Have you made your list, yet?
Here's mine: 1. Never ...

My first trips to the store and using a handicap cart to shop. Late night and NO CROWDS is good! (Winco) Tuesday, in the middle of the day in Provo Costco is very bad. I was shocked at how rude people are in cutting you off, darting ahead in front of you, not wanting to wait for you, children not watching where they are going. (Could this have something to do with Utah drivers ...?) All the time, I was trying to keep up with the person I was with and not run into somebody. I realized I had to be a defensive driver like truck drivers do. Glad I know that perspective and Happy to say I didn't hit anyone but came very close a couple of times. Glad I'm not too shy to ask for help in reaching for something. I hope that I will correct my patterns in a store and be more aware of helping others and being more patient myself.

It is amazing to see from a different level all the things you miss when you are up, standing tall and walking. Kind of like a child's view of the world. Did you know there are garbage cans at the front of every Costco conveyor checkout. So many times when I have had samples debri at Costco and didn't use the can at those spots, I was always looking for a garbage can to throw them away at checkout! Now I know. Saw lots of places that need a good cleaning. Side note :I even found some library supplies in the backs of the lower cupboards, at church, I didn't know we had. Apparently, I haven't bent over far enough. The other librarians didn't know either! Who knew?

If I put my mind to it, I can figure out how to do things for myself, but boy some of it is really hard work! THE THINGS WE DO EVERYDAY IS SO-O-O TAKEN FOR GRANTED. Things were done so much faster with Barry helping me! Thanks Hunny!!! Taking a bath or shower & getting dressed takes 2 hours! by myself, and then I needed a rest for 2 hours. This is all bare minimum dressing. That also does not include styling my hair or putting on makeup. Guys are so lucky! I would just finally sit down to catch my breath or rest - get my leg situated with the ice packs and remember - oh yeah! I really needed a drink of water and it is so far back to the kitchen! How to carry something/s from one place to another was solved by a dear friend who made me an apron with pockets. Thanks Jenny!!!

When you REALLY NEED HELP, and sincerely ask in prayer, the Lord inspires someone to call and be the answer that you need? Thank you to YOU - you know who you are! There are many very generous people in this world that the Lord has blessed and given talents to and they are the Good Samaritans in our day that share, care and minister! GOD BLESS THEM!!!

I am again convinced that the Lord knows the reasons why I need these experiences in my life. Trusting others, reflection about where I am in life, re-adjusting, learning what is important and what isn't, that I need to get my affairs in order, very needed, patience in healing (still ongoing) and other areas and attitudes, and learning wisdom and how this feels for others who have had this happen to them, and how amazing this body really is, all are just a few of the lessons that have come to my mind during this time.

I am blessed though this experience, it could have been a lot worse than it was, it could have been more painful that it was (that allowed me to not have to use as much of the meds. I had to take for the healing process, as was my desire.) I'm thankful for people being in the right place at the right time to prevent a bad situation from becoming a disaster and for their knowledge that was needed. I'm grateful to those who understood my life's fears, eased the way and have shared with me the peace I needed. I've learned that if the Lord were to call me home, I'm ready to go - even knowing that I am not in perfect condition. I know the Savior loves me, anyway!

Kristy

P.S. What? you weren't expecting a novel? It has been a year!!!